Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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