When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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