Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
