HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
