hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
