i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
