I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you would pick up someone in the library
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do you have feelings for this penis?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
