I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
