capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
