Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
