I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
