Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
