So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
