You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
