I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
