I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The best revenge is premature balding
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
