So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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