You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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