Whod you bang
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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