Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
