There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
