Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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