We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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