Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Randomize
