All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
