I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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