Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
