i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
