I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
