Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You've changed since you got that strap on
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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