Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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