everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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