I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
