Cold hands, warm shart.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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