she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
being pregnant is like rehab
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
