So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
