You work out of a Hotel?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
