Someone shit on the floor
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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