guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
