meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
