i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
