At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
