What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
