is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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