forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i think im in europe. pls send help
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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