Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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