He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
