how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
