Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
