do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
