i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
